Firo's Chennai Launch: Who Cares?

[Generated Title]: Chennai's New "Indian Reimagined" Restaurant: Just What We Needed? (Spoiler: Probably Not)

So, another restaurant opens. Big deal.

Velveteen Rabbit, RIP. Ten years is a decent run in this age of Instagram food pics and everyone being a critic. Ashish Thadani shutters it, and what does he do? Replaces it with Firo. Sleek dining room, competitive cocktail menu. Translation: Overpriced drinks and food designed to be photographed, not enjoyed.

"Indian Reimagined": More Like Marketing Hype

"Indian reimagined." Give me a break. Chef Ajit Bangera, ex-ITC Grand Chola, is the mastermind. Fine. He updated luxury dining, apparently. Now he's doing "simple, creative, and with an element of surprise." Surprise? Like when you order a dosa and it costs $30?

They’re saying it's inspired by ingredients and classic recipes from across the country. Okay, but what does that mean? Are they using real, authentic spices, or some deconstructed, foams-and-emulsions version that costs ten times as much and tastes half as good? I'm betting on the latter.

And Chef Abhishek Mody? Pulled him all the way from Bangkok. "Chef came to Bangkok and said, ‘come home’." Gag me with a spoon. Sounds like a recruitment brochure, not a restaurant review. According to Firo launches in Chennai with a restaurant and cocktail bar, Firo includes both a restaurant and a cocktail bar.

The menu sounds…fine, I guess. Yogurt sorbet chaat, chicken liver pate toast, prawn ceviche. It's fusion. Fusion can be a slippery slope. Are they pulling it off? Who cares?

Cocktails and "Home Fermented" Nonsense

Then there's the cocktail program. "Indian ingredients to tweak classics." Blue pea flower syrup in a Lilac Lady? Spiced jaggery syrup in a Terra Twist? Look, I like a good old fashioned as much as the next guy, but this sounds like a desperate attempt to be different. A paper butterfly? Really?

Home fermented pineapple tepache. Brisk with cloves and cinnamon. Sounds...artisanal. You know, the kind of thing that costs $18 a glass and tastes like something your grandma brewed in her basement.

I'm not even going to pretend to understand half of this stuff. Palak "no paneer"? Gosht Rampuri cooked for 72 hours? Anjeer dhokli? It's all designed to sound impressive, but is it actually good? And, more importantly, is it worth the insane price tag?

Jazz in the background. ITC chefs showing up to wish their mentor good luck. It’s all so…staged. Like a reality show about restaurants, except you can’t change the channel.

Is Firo going to be Chennai's hottest new table? Maybe. Will it last? Probably not. In this city, trends come and go faster than you can say "deconstructed samosa."

So, What's the Real Story Here?

Look, I'm not saying it's bad. Maybe it's great. Maybe the food is incredible, the cocktails are mind-blowing, and the atmosphere is electric. But let's be real: it's another trendy restaurant trying to cash in on the "experiential dining" craze. And honestly, I'm just tired of it. Give me a dive bar and a plate of greasy biryani any day.